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EmailNano '09 – Nov 2&3 – 2673 Words, 4340 Total
04 Nov 2009 View Comments
in writing Tags: nanowrimo 2009
(Ugh, too much dialogue…)
“That the Prophesised Heroes were predicted to be… younger.” The short man hedged.
“What, like Narnia young?” Carson asked. The men in hats just stared at him. “You know… eight to fourteen years old?”
“Um, yes. I suppose that the Sorcerer is in the right age range, however.” The small man smiled hopefully.
“Uh, nuh uh buddy! I’m fifteen – I know how to drive!” Cassandra stuck out her tongue whilst her mother snorted.
“As long as you don’t have to parallel park, that is. The last time you attempted to do so, you hit the curb so hard you knocked the tires out of alignment.”
“It wasn’t that bad!” Cassandra protested.
“Oh, really? I have a one hundred dollar bill that says otherwise.” Lillian started digging through her purse for her receipts.
“Mom, don’t get out the receipts. Seriously, not cool.” Cassandra smacked her mom’s hand. “Besides, hello? Parkades? Who needs to know how to parallel park?” Cassandra rolled her eyes.
“You. So you can pass your driver’s exam.” Lillian riposted.
“I’ll just drive without a license then,” Cassandra shrugged.
“Or not.”
Cassandra snorts, “Oh, like you can stop me.”
“I’m your mother – of course I can stop you!” Lillian snapped.
“Unlikely – my mother never stopped me from doing anything,” Carson grinned, “How about you Katryn?”
The men in hats, except for the unconscious one and the one in the headlock, just stared. The short one opened his mouth to speak again but was quickly cut off by Katryn.
“I never did anything that my mother would disprove of, thank you very much.” Katryn said superciliously.
“God you must have been a boring teenager. Either that or your mother was very liberal,” Carson said.
“A bit of both, actually,” Katryn said.
The five men in hats, except for the one headlocked by Rainier and the one lying on the ground unconscious, exchanged nervous looks. This bickering was most certainly not what they expected from their Heroes.
“So, uh, are you guys going to go save the world now?” The cynical man in a hat asked.
“Not sure. What does this world saving involve?” Carson asked.
“Nothing big – just defeating the armies of darkness,” He shrugged.
“Oh-kay. Count me out,” Katryn said. “This is interesting and all, but I’ve got a lab write up due tomorrow. I’ve really got to get going. Can you send us back to Earth now please?”
“That is, assuming that we’re not on a drug trip,” Carson added.
“Drug trip?” Katryn asked.
“Yeah, y’know, goin’ through the not-Stargate, ending up in a cathedral with awesome acoustics and crazy art. It certainly has drug trip potential,” Carson explained.
“Oh yeah, I totally see what you mean,” Cassandra exclaimed, “The first time I tried pot everything was so not right, you know? Just a little bit off. And I was kind of hungry.”
“Cassandra! Drugs?!” Lillian exclaimed.
“Oh, chill mom! Clearly you’re on them too since you’re seeing the same cathedral!” Cassandra gestured wildly at the surroundings.
“Um, yeah, I don’t think you’re on drugs,” the cynic butted in.
“Well that’s good,” Katryn said, “I don’t even drink and I’d rather keep my body drug free.”
“Dude, you were the boringest teenager ever, weren’t you!” Cassandra pointed and laughed a bit.
“I was not!” Katryn shot back.
“Did you go to any parties at all?” Carson nudged her.
“No. No I did not.” Katryn raised an eyebrow. “Watching a bunch of people drink until they pass out is not my idea of a fun time.”
“Boringest teenager ever. Oh, and you’re supposed to join them in the attempt to acquire alcohol poisoning. FYI.” Carson nodded sagely.
“Thanks ever so much for the advice,” Katryn rolled her eyes.
“Oh, look at the time!” The short man suddenly exclaimed, “We’re behind schedule! We must move onto the next room. Oh, and Rainier? Could you please remove Name from that headlock?”
“Are we still on a homicidal rampage?” Rainier asked slowly.
“Oh, no, I figure that we can just let the redhead to go free in the city.”
“Or you could send me home,” Katryn said.
“I’m afraid we are unable to send people off of our world ever since the Time of Darkness began. You will have to wait until the Heroes Defeat The Evil One so our lands will be Free Once More.” The short man nodded sagely. Carson and Cassandra grinned wildly as his hat finally fell off. The corners of Katryn’s lips may have turned upwards in the slightest of smiles, but the lighting was too poor to tell. Flushing brightly, the man grabbed his hat off of the ground and jammed it on his head. “This way!”
Carson flashed a smirk at Katryn. “You hear that? Matter really can only go one way through a wormhole!”
“Black hole. And apparently it can since the inability for it to do so is a new development!” Katryn snapped, hurrying after the short man.
“A thousand years is a new development?” Cassandra asked. “Cuz I would think that that was a reaaally long time ago.”
“Not in astrophysics,” Katryn smiled, her face suddenly animated, “After all, some of the starlight we see is billions of years old. Well, see with a telescope.”
“The Hubble?” Carson asked as the left the cathedral area by a small, plain door.
“Actually, the star, galaxy rather, I was thinking about was found with the VLT.” Katryn grinned.
“Ohmigod, nerd!” Cassandra said.
“No, really? I’m a physics student – what did you think?” Katryn rolled her eyes as the party left the corridor and entered a much smaller and inviting room.
“Please, everyone, take a seat,” the short man said magnanimously, “Except for you, redhead,” he exclaimed when Katryn went to sit down. “You don’t get a seat.”
“I have a name, you know. It’s even written down and normally pinned to my apron for everyone to see,” Katryn snapped, “And why can I not sit down? There are clearly exactly as many chairs as people.”
“Of course there isn’t – there are eleven people and we only have enough chairs for ten – the proper number.” The short man snapped back.
“You may want to count again – I’m fairly certain that there are only ten people here,” Katryn raised her eyebrows as the short man did a quick headcount.
“Jerin! The prophet is missing – go find him!” The short man commanded.
“Good luck with that,” Katryn called out as Jerin left, “He’s marvellous at disappearing, especially if he has paint thinner to protect.” Katryn frowned at everyone staring at her. “What? We called social services on him once – he was gone before we hung up the phone.”
“I’m certain that Jerin will have no problem with finding the Prophet.” The short man said patiently, “Meanwhile – hey! I said you couldn’t sit down!”
“Nine people. Ten chairs. I’m sitting – I’ve been on my feet for three hours,” Katryn stretched out her legs and slouched.
“Jeeze, don’t you get coffees?” Carson wrinkled his nose.
“She’d have to – labour laws require fifteen minute break every four hours,” Rainier said.
“And an additional half hour break for every six hours,” Lillian added.
“See mom! I told you it was a horrible idea for me to work at the grocery store – they abuse their employees!” Cassandra said gleefully.
“Uh, well, yeah they do treat us like shit but we do get our required breaks. I just prefer taking my last coffee an hour before my shift is done. Which, incidentally, is right now.” Katryn shrugged. “I wonder if they’ll pay me for this.”
“If we’re done talking to the redhead – “
“Katryn.”
“The redhead, I would like to tell you about your Destinies.” The short man sniffed.
“Even mine?” Katryn couldn’t resist asking.
“You don’t have one. As I was saying – “
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what is your name?” Lillian cut in.
“I, uh, will you all stop interrupting me! My name is Leovis, he is Weorn,” Leovis gestures to the big man with the tiny hat, “Jerin just left, Peohr is still unconscious and Viandir is the man to my left.”
“So much for gender equality,” Katryn muttered. Lillian hid a snicker behind her hand.
“I’ll have you know that our Prime Minister is a woman,” Leovis sniffed.
“Technically, up until five years ago, she was a man,” Weorn added helpfully.
“Oh-kay, slightly more liberal than Earth then,” Lillian said.
“Slightly?” Katryn asked.
“My god! Don’t you people ever stay on topic?” Leovis shrieked.
“Uhm, no?” Carson said.
“Oh relax already, Leovis. You really need to learn to calm down,” Viandir said. Cassandra boggled.
“He talks?!” She asked.
“Yes, yes I do talk.” Viandir said sagely.
“Oh. I thought you were, like, a mute or something,” Cassandra said dully.
“Cassandra!” Lillian said shortly.
“Or, y’know, took a vow of silence. Whichever,” Cassandra said, ignoring her mother entirely.
“No, no, I just only talk if it is absolutely necessary,” Viandir explained.
“Oh. Weird,” Cassandra said.
“You can learn a lot from listening,” Rainier admonished.
“Uh, hello? That’s why I go to school!” Cassandra rolled her eyes.
“Then maybe you should actually do your homework sometime instead of just talking on that phone with you friends day and night?” Lillian snarked.
“You are all Destined, except for the redhead, to Save the World from the Dark Menace that has been Plagueing us for a Millenia,” Leovis quickly starting talking over everyone else in the room. “You each have a Role to play – an Important Role which was already Assigned as you came through the portal.”
“So, blah blah blah standard fantasy fare?” Carson snickered.
“This is very important, Scholar – you should be taking notes! That is your role!” Leovis thrust a quill and parchment at him.
“Yeah, no thanks. I was never really all that good at that even with a ballpoint and a notebook,” Carson shrugged and placed the parchment and quill on the end table next to his chair.
“But, you must! That is your Role!” Leovis sputtered. Lillian sighed and pulled a notepad and a biro out of her purse.
“How about I just take the damned notes and we just move on already?”
“I, but… no! He is the scholar, not you!” Leovis was turning red and frothing a little bit.
“Dude, copying down notes is a scribe, not a scholar. Scholars do research and, um, stuff,” Carson protested.
“Excuses, excuses,” Katryn smirked, “Scholars have to write down plenty of notes and you know it.”
“Yeah, well, my profs made it really easy to get away with not taking notes – posting stuff online is way useful you know?” Carson grinned.
“Useful? It just encourages people to not show up for class!” Katryn exclaimed.
“Yeah, like I said – useful!” Carson grinned unrepentantly.
“God, did you even finish your degree?” Katryn rolled her eyes.
“Yes. With honours.” Carson raised his eyebrows challengingly.
“In?” Katryn raised one of her own in retaliation. She pulled the look off far better than Carson.
“Anthropology.” Carson said.
“Ah. That’d be why – arts degrees don’t require all that much work,” Katryn said sagely.
“Hey! I had to write two or three papers a class each semester!” Carson protested.
“Try three hours of labs a week per class, plus homework plus lab write-ups,” Katryn shot back.
“AND YOU WILL FULFILL YOUR DESTINIES by Travelling to Mount Ominous to Defeat the Evil Lord in his Stronghold,” Spittle flew out of Leovis’ mouth as he shouted.
“Of Evil?” Cassandra asked.
“Yes. Of Evil. I’m glad someone is taking this seriously,” Leovis smiled at Cassandra.
“Yeah. Not really. Why would we storm his stronghold? Would it be strong? And holdy? Wouldn’t it make more sense to lure him outside and ambush him?” Cassandra asked sarcastically.
“No. That was not Prophesied,” Leovis adamantly said.
“Then your prophecy is stupid. Nobody rushes an enemy stronghold like that unless they’re bloody stupid,” Cassandra swished her hair out of her face and then added thoughtfully, “Or Frodo.”
“You know what I’ve never understood about Lord of the Rings? Why those giant doom birds didn’t fly them over Mount Doom,” Carson said.
“Because it was the Brown Wizard’s bird and Saurumon sent him to taunt Gandalf. But then they realised what was up so the bird went back to save Gandalf and then the Brown Wizard died and Gandalf couldn’t summon the bird until he became Gandalf the White and – what? Why are you all looking at me like that for?” Cassandra stared back.
“If only she could apply that memory to her schoolwork,” Lillian sighed melodramatically.
“That… is just entirely ridiculous,” Katryn said, eyes wide.
“And that is why I do not read high fantasy,” Carson said.
“Okay, yes, it’s a bit convoluted but it makes perfect sense!” Cassandra vowed.
“I’ll… take your word for that,” Katryn said slowly.
“I rather liked the movies,” Rainier said, “they were certainly more tolerable than the novels.”
“But they’re still hideously long. Ever try watching the directors cut? So many hours of my life – wasted,” Carson sighed.
“I thought you didn’t like high fantasy?” Cassandra asked.
“I don’t. But my girlfriend at the time did. Concessions were made – Star Wars marathon – a proper one where Han shoots first and no prequels – in exchange for a LotR marathon,” Carson explained.
“Will you ever be quiet and let me explain your Destinies?” Leovis begged.
“Nope. What is it? We each do the stuff our ‘roles’ tell us to do and walk on an epically circular route and eventually kill the dark lord in his inner sanctum?” Cassandra asked.
“Um…” Leovis trailed off as Jerin walked back in.
“Yes, that’s the gist of it,” Jerin said, “Pretty stupid, hey? I mean, you have to walk everywhere when we have magicmobiles.”
“Jerin! Do not disrespect the Prophecy!” Leovis said angrily, “And where is the Prophet?”
“Why shouldn’t I? It was written a thousand years ago – times have changed, Leovis,” Jerin shrugged, “As for the Prophet… couldn’t find him. I got the healers to look after Peohr, though.”
“You lost the Prophet?!” Leovis shrieked.
“Told you he was a slippery bugger,” Katryn grinned.
“Hey, I didn’t lose him – I just couldn’t find him,” Jerin clarified.
Leovis huffed and added, “The Prophecy took in account of the changing times! They must travel in that particular route so that they can Defeat the Ice Dragon – “
“Wait wait wait… Ice dragon?” Carson asked.
“And the Dread Troll, the Carnivorous Island, the – “
“How long is this supposed to take?” Lillian asked.
Leovis said nothing.
“It doesn’t specify that,” Jerin said.
“Sounds like it will take longer than my coffee,” Katryn said.
“I think you’ve already used up those fifteen minutes,” Carson replied.
“Where should we begin?” Rainier asked.
“Why, with training, of course!” Leovis clapped his hands, “That is why we are here!”
“Oh, great. I get out of school just to attend another one,” Cassandra sighed.
Chapter 2
Katryn leaned back with a smile. For once, being ‘that redhead’ was a benefit rather than a curse. Right now, since she wasn’t one of the prophesised ones, she just got to kick back, relax and watch as four ‘destined ones’ got to learn their trades.
It really was quite hilarious – Lillian was currently trying to lift a sword, let along swing it, almost as big as her whilst Carson somehow managed to splatter ink up his arms and onto his face. Rainier looked incredibly bored and half asleep as Viandir droned on about leadership rhetoric. And Cassandra? Cassandra was holding a staff and stabbing a book with a pencil as Peohr looked on.