Yeah, no.  Fuck you anon.  Or non-anon.  Basically, fuck you to anyone who says that.

Why?

Because wanting to read a certain type of fic does not mean in the slightest that you want to write it.  The other day I was bitching about the lack of sick but not pregnant fics on the internet but it’s not like I actually wanted to write it.  I have no inspiration to (though Beckett with food poisoning and the guys thinking that her biker boyfriend knocked her up would be kind of funny).  But I was rather happy when @wabbit89 wrote a fic in which T’Pol was rather under the weather.  Cuz, yeah, I wanted to read, not write.

And there is a huge difference between the two.  Especially the motivation behind why one writes rather than reads.

When I write, it’s because I have (or at least very strongly want) to.  The story won’t leave my head so, dammit, I just force it out onto paper/MS Word/my iPod.  I need an entire idea and the sense that the story is going to go somewhere, not just a trope to fill/subvert.  Not to mention the sense of satisfaction I get from writing a fic is a completely different emotion from the enjoyment I get from just reading one.  I enjoy both activities, but only one of them requires me to use my brain.

When I read, it’s because… well, I always read.  My default state of being is reading.  Hell, even while watching tv (NCIS, currently), I’m reading.  That’s part of the reason why I absolutely detest streaming video – too much of it is flash based and you can’t really fullscreen a flash video on one monitor and read on your second – it just bumps out.

In short, writing is time consuming.  Reading is not.  I can read a 1500 word fic in two minutes for chrissake.  You know how long it’d take me to write that?  Two, maybe three, hours – that’s seventy-five times as long.  Sure, it might take me an hour during NaNoWriMo, but I don’t do any research, editing or, hell, even thinking during a word war!  There is a complete and utter difference in time commitment between reading and writing.

So yeah, the next time you go to say that, just do us all a favour and stfu.  If you’re trollin’, you’re not being particularly ground breaking – get some new material.

(Oh look, I wrote an entry without Sanctuary as one of the tags!  Damn, broke my three post streak.)

As weird as this may sound, and despite my love for both fanfic and tv, there are some fandoms  that I just cannot readfic for.  And, well, you’d have to be living under a rock for you not to know that I really love fanfic.  I read it constantly.  For chrissake, I have downloaded fic and put it on my iPod.  And I’ve been doing that since I got a first gen iPod nanoback in, what, 2006?  Admittedly, that experiment didn’t last very long – the nano only would display x number of characters in a text file and, ultimately, it was waaaay more work that it was worth.

But, dammit, I had tried.

Nowadays I just save the page in html (or view source and c+v the appropriate code), boot out all of the page formatting and convert to ePub.  Or c+v into Word and convert to ePub.  Or take the supplied pdf/doc and convert to ePub.

I think you get the point – I really like ePub.

Not that point is the point of this blog – the point is that I can’t read fic for certain fandoms.  Only two fandoms, mind you – Castle and Lost Girl.

Wait, what?

Yes, those are my two of three of my most favourite of favourite shows currently on the air (the other, of course, is Sanctuary, which I also don’t read fic for, but that’s just because nobody writes anything I’m interested in).  I’m actually in both of those fandoms (well, ish - I’m not really in any fandom, I just lurk on the edges) and, hell, I’ve ever written Castle fic.  So why can’t I read fic for either of those fandoms, especially Castle?

All the fic out there just… bothers me.  There’s always something wrong about the fic - the characterisations are a bit off, the tone doesn’t ring true… I don’t know, there’s just something wrong.  For the longest time, I had just thought that it was the fandom at fault – maybe all of the Castle writers just suck at writing.  But that’s not true – Castle fic is, objectively speaking, no better or worse than any other fandom.  It’s just that I find that the ‘good’ Castle fics all suck for different reasons.

And, it took awhile, but I eventually figured out why I thought that Castle fic was worse than all other fic out there – it wasn’t the fandom, it was me. My perspective of the show and the characters is just a little bit different than fandom’s.  Arguably, it is a little less diluted because, well, anyone who spends any length of time in fandom knows how fanoncomes about.  Take, for example, Rizzoli & Isles (also among my most favourite of favourite shows, but it’s a summer show so it doesn’t count in the off season (it makes sense in my mind, okay??)).  This is a fandom with a shit ton of fic and I have read the vast majority of it (no really, I have).  And I love the fic.  However, there is a hellalot of fanon that has cropped up – so much so, in fact, that someone once (get this) actually posted an entry on one of the R&I comms asking if something is canon.  I can’t remember what it was in specific, but I do know that the entry exploded with comments (including some from me) about how Jane calling Maura M is so weird (it was never on the show, though Maur was), how Maura calling out Jane for swearing came out of nowhere (eventually it was determined that the @JaneRizzoli and @MauraIsles twitter accounts were to blame) and a whole slew of other oddities that never showed up on the show became staples of the fic.

And it was true – there are so many common threads in R&I fic that aren’t in the show at all. And that, folks, is fanon.  And that is part of why I suspect I cannot get into Castle fic - the Castle fanon just strikes me as wrong.

The other reason why I can’t read Castle fic?

It’s because I can write Castle fic.  As stupid as it may sound, but damn I understand those characters.  I know why Castle does what he does and why Kate does what she does as well as Martha and Alexis and Lanie and even Montgomery, Ryan and Esposito (and I’m never good with male characters, which really doesn’t explain why Castle is the character I relate to in Castle).  I can hear their voices in my head (and I primarily think in words, not voices).  If I’m in a Castle-y enough mode, I can quote (timing, intonation and all) an episode along with it… on the episode’s first airing.  I understand these characters.

But my interpretation of the characters does not match up with how the Castle fandom, in general, interprets them.

Am I more correct than every other fic writer out there?  Fuck if I know and somehow I doubt it.  I’m too close to it to be unbiased and I have a strange ability to be both an arrogant fuck and a self deprecating dunce.  And, y’know what?  I don’t care if I’m wrong and they’re right or anything like that – it’s fucking fanfic - we’re all wrong in characterisations.  Only the show’s writers can get it right.

Mostly, I’m just really pissed at myself for reading Castle fic - the alternative characterisations of Castle and Beckett have completely, 100% fucked up how I see them and now nothing I write for that fandom rings true.  I’m getting better at it, though, since I’ve stopped reading Castle fic over half a year ago and maybe, in the not too distant future, I’ll be able to write Castle fic again.  I really hope I’ll be able to – writing fic for that show is so much fun.

As for how Lost Girl factors in?  Yeah, I’ve kinda over analysed that show and, while there is very few fic out there (yet), those that are out there have given me the same feeling that Castle fic did – something is just plain wrong.  So I’ve decided to learn from my mistakes in the Castle fandom and just not read Lost Girl fic.

And, upon reflection, I think that I’d have the same feeling about Sanctuary fic if it wasn’t for the fact that nobody writes what I want to read (John/Helen).  Hell, I’m a fan of the Five being all, uh, ‘involved’ back in the day and, despite being plenty of fic for that, I haven’t read it either.  I guess, subconsciously, I know that what has been written will never match up to what’s in my head.

…

Damn, this is an incredibly arrogant sounding blog entry.  I mean, the tl;dr is basically “Nikki thinks that everyone else fucks up the characters and her interpretations are closer to the word of god”.  How more self centred can one get?

But, hey, it’s the truth!  At least now I know that I should never, EVER read fanfic for my own stuff.  Not that such fanficexists, but if it did….

Unsurprisingly, I was among them, as well as being crazy enough to demand a time machine (@Navarr helpfully provided a time loop machine, thus adding even more fandom to my already fandom full twitter feed).

So.

Yeah.

Trailer good Nikki happyyyy.  I mean, whoa, ‘splosions and War Machine and Pepper makin’ out with the helmet omg!  The last one on the list was surprisingly hot – I predict that the Tony/Pepper LJ comm is gunna explode with ficlets about that kiss and their exchange – “Go get ‘em boss” “You complete me!” – so deliciously shippy.  I’d hope that that would make the T/P die hards stop freaking out over potential Tony/Natasha but, well, that’d be a pipe dream and I’m not all that naive when it comes to fandom and shipping.

Honestly, a Tony/Natasha/Pepper triangle could be pretty fun!  Of course, I’m a die hard Sam/Jack shipper who thought that the Sam/Pete subplot of season eight of SG-1 was pretty damn awesome.  Will the fantards ever learn that the first ship, in mainstream entertainment, is always (to the best of my knowledge – obviously there are going to be exceptions, but those are too rare to be concerned about) the canon one?  So there’s a few hiccups on the road to true love – who cares?  It’s insanely entertaining!

Also, there are explosions and preeeeetty whips (even if Trav is right about the ground hitting != very exciting whip work) and Tony in a Formula 1 car and dancing Iron Girls and eeeeee!

Is it May 7th yet?!

On a non movie related note, I’ve finally got around to finishing the first season of Iron Man: Armoured Adventures.  Despite the iffy animation, the occasional omg that was SO BAD line (but that can be forgiven because all kids shows, no matter how good, have terrible lines like that.  Plus, they lampshade a lot of the cliche dialogue) and Tony & Co as sixteen year old kids, the show is actually really good.  It is very well written with nicely paced episodes and well rounded characters.  It’s actually quite fascinating that they decided to go the route of the Mandarin being one of Tony’s closest friends and making him a good, if misguided, guy.  All the main villains are like that, to tell you the truth.  The Living Laser ends up giving his life to save Tony’s (and it wasn’t done ham handedly), Madame Masque is one screwed up girl (she ends up clean slated to her pre-Masque days, however, so I suppose a lot of character development just went down the drain.  Y’know, just like what Fraction has probably done in IIM), Obadiah Stane didn’t kill Howard…

Yeah.

Good stuff.

And, to think, apart from the kid!Tony aspect, my most (mentally) complained about aspect of the show was the fact that the Mandarin was only after the five Makluan Rings not the ten there are in comic canon.  But the end of the season finale?  Ohhh yeah, it’s all about Gene realising that he only has half of the Rings, which has the unfortunate side effect of his power lust and poor self esteem tricking him into believing that he would have worth if he got the other half and, thus, abandoning thoughts of giving up the Rings and rebuilding his friendship with Tony.

But enough about the villains.

Tony is actually pretty Tony-ish for a kids show that wouldn’t approve of his boozing, womanising ways.  He’s still an impulsive, stubborn, arrogant git with a bit of a god complex.  It’s pretty easy to see his rage, guilt and lack of self worth leading him to the bottle in the near future and, while he’s mostly oblivious to women at the moment, they’re already beginning to fawn over him and it won’t be long until he starts using his charm on them.

Pepper is, quite frankly, annoying but with just enough moments of awesome to keep you from completely hating her.  She’s absolutely nothing like the controlled woman in the comics – she’s bouncy, hyper and gabs a mile a minute, quite possibly due to an overly large daily sugar intake.  Yet, those same traits are found in comic!Pepper – both think fast, are kinda bossy and are able to send a dozen texts in under a minute.  They’re also both intensely loyal with a strong moral integrity.

As for Rhodey… well, I haven’t been following War Machine and he doesn’t exactly show up in IIM all that often.  In the cartoon, he’s the calm, level headed one in charge of the base of operations.  He’s initially reluctant to fly the suit (and ends up crashing with enough velocity to create a massive crater), but he does eventually claim the War Machine armour as his own.  He’s a good problem solver and, while not as intuitive as Tony, can think his way out of problems in a clear and logical manner.  Pepper, on the other hand, is more manipulative and generally functions as crowd control and deals with the masses.

Happy?  Happy’s a total idiot with mad skills at piloting the suit.  He’s actually pretty damn funny for the dumb jock stereotype.

BUT, yes, long story short?  Good characters, good long term story arc and good individual episodes.  omg, I can’t wait for the next season!  Gene is unveiled as the Mandarin after Tony and Rhodey reveal themselves as Iron Man and the newly created superhero, War Machine so, yes, angst overload!  Oh, and Gene’s step dad blew up Tony’s lab so they’re down to two suits – the backpack suit (yes, the show puts in as many references to the comics as possible) and the War Machine armour.

Also, Fin Fang Foom was there.  Yay dragons!

*fangirly flail*